7:44 am
True love, Some find it. :(

True love, Some find it. :(

(Source: rebe11ious, via binxtomjerry)

7:42 am
5:36 am

I know how I feel about you,

even though I don’t want to.

12:00 am

(617): dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.

(519):and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered “Simba”

(774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled “dibs!”…

(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911 

(617): i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
(508): i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

(734): I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he’d let me find out. I love Australians.

— Text
3:44 pm



Throw a pretty mean party. Last night was fun now it’s time for the game. Hook em:)
9:37 pm

Are you custom-made, custom-paid, or you just custom-fitted?
Playstation 2 up in the ride and is that lorenzo-kitted?
Is that your wife, your girlfriend or just your main bitch?
You take a pick, while I’m rubbin the hips, touchin lips to the top of the dick
Now tell me who’s your housekeeper and what you keep in your house?
What about diamonds and gold, is that what you keep in your mouth?
What in the world is in that case, what you got in that case?
Get up out my face, you couldn’t relate, wait to take place at a similar pace
So shake, shake it

* theme by Matt Vears, with apologies due to The Tough Alliance.